Raising Children in the Modern World
Dearest Brother in Christ,
How please I am to hear from you! I often thought about you. Do you recall that I owed you money for your books? I have no idea how much, do you remember?
I suspected that you had not married. It is awful to say, but I told my son, Don, who is 36 years old, something I never thought I would ever tell anyone. I congratulated him for not marring...
Because you have been wise enough to listen to God’s calling to remain single, rather than jump into marriage even if everybody was doing it, I can tell you what I have told some religious.
You have chosen the best part, Him, the one and true Love! Non other can compare! Look at the advantages, even in this world... You sacrificed having children, true, but you will never have the guilt that you have brought into the world unhappy, or miserable children. You will never worry about them being in the “wrong side” of spirituality. And I assure you that worrying about one’s children is exhausting, and an on going dilemma! On the contrary, you can now have time to devote to help other children, your input into God’s plan, and help God’s children who are so needy, in so many ways! Because you refused to marry a girl who put you above God, He is now surely putting you first in His plans.
You have sacrificed human love, oh but for much greater! You will never have a divorce. You never worry about your wife cheating on you, ruining you, leading you to wrong doing etc. No, you have chosen the safe way to salvation, the Love on which you can depend on, no matter what! Congratulations for having made such a wise choice!
The Fruits of Brother Gino
We have been through the worst nightmares ever imagined since I last corresponded with you. You remember our son, Rich, who was in the Oblates in San Vitorino, Italy? Well, after having been scandalized, he left the order. He could have been an excellent priest if he had been properly guided. He was known to have excellent; moral, dedication, values, and a gift for preaching. He was so smart that he came out second in a class of 140. These seminarians came from all over the world, some had master’s degrees of all kinds, and spoke many different languages. In spite of the fact that Marc knew nothing about Italian before he went to Rome, and that all exams were in Italian, he nevertheless, came out with highest honours! I think it was a great loss for the priesthood. When he went in, we were honoured, but I had told him that he had to make sure because he had to be a good priest or not at all. When he came out, I have to admit that we were relieved because we realized he would have had to swim upstream all the way!
Letting God Choose Our Way of Life
He later unfortunately, rushed into a marriage, as he really thought he was doing God’s will. He wanted a religious wife, so he thought the best place to get her would be at church. He met this girl, about his age, in the church choir. They were both going to the university. She APPEARED to be a good person. Imagine she even read her breviary, hun! Priests don't even do that anymore. Anyway, it must have been just a show to impress Marc, and it surely worked!
As soon as she got married, she stopped going to university, and tricked Rich into getting pregnant, although she had agreed to follow church approved methods to wait until they would be finished their studies. Her best girl friend was later known to be a lesbian.
They lost two babies, one of four months and one of three. The first one should have only lived three months, but he was their first child and the parents just could not let him go. They would revive him so often. Although he was our first grandchild, I thought it was terrible to force him to live when he was at the end of his little life. Finally, he just could not hold on any longer, he was too week to keep on struggling for breath.
The parents took it VERY hard. So did we! I had gone all out decorating my room with baby decorations, the crib, and numerous number of toys filled my wardrobe, for when they would visit. Their second son lived, but afterwards, they lost another, and they were crushed!
His wife who was not working, frequented clubs until 1 and 2 in the morning, almost daily, while Rich baby‑sat their young son. She gambled his hard earned money, spending hundreds of dollars per week, and she went out mostly every evening, smoking and gambling. At the end he had to declare bankruptcy.
Her girl friends were ALWAYS more important to her than her husband, or her marriage... She was not willing to go see a marriage councillor, or to change in any way. At the end, he got cancer and knew he had to leave her, for his health and sanity. Now, he is shacked up with a widow who has two children. His son, Nathan, now 9, lives with his mother, but spends much time with Rich and new “family”. They are all good to Nathan, but it is a most unfortunate situation. Nathan is brought up as a little pagan... At nine years old, he still did not make his first communion. It breaks our heart to see our grandchildren growing with no spiritual support. In their teenage years, when the going gets tough, they will have nothing spiritual to rely on.
Marc could easily have an annulment. We always strongly believed in “Marriage until death.” However, in this case, his wife lied to him, and to the priest, when they were taking a course on preparation to marriage. She lied about a serious matter. However, Rich is making no attempt to get a an annulment because he has lost faith.
The Fruits of the Army of Mary
That was bad, and we shed many tears, but much WORST happened to our daughter! Do you remember that she was in the Army of Mary? Well, it is a long story about how we finally got her out. Some day I will write about it. She married the worst of possible persons, from hell, a homosexual pedophile who sexually abused our two little granddaughters when they were only 2 and 4! (Maybe before, we will never know.)
We sometimes live on pins and needles. As soon as a father descends to such evil actions as to sexually molest his own child, his rights should be terminated at that very moment. He does not act like a father and should not be considered a father, but a thief of the most despicable kind. He robbed his child of her; emotional life, dignity, innocence, health, self‑worth, respect, self‑esteem and her very youth. For all this, he gives her feelings of aggressions, violence, rage, anger, revolt, hate, guilt, depression and self destruction.
Such a father does NOT deserve rights! This is worst than any of the most terrible sickness, health problems, or even death. Many do not understand the damage done to an abused child, and I am convinced that most people have no idea of the deep scars and trauma it causes. Every day, we see the pain and suffering those children are going through. We witness their frustrations, their aggressiveness, the violence, self mutilation, and the perversions... It is totally heart breaking!
I always maintained that the worst crimes are those done to children, now I am all the more convinced of it. The worst above all is the abuse by the father!!! It is totally discouraging to constantly have to fight and pay to protect the children. The law STINKS!
Many do not realize the seriousness of this crime. The perpetrators MUST be punished, even, (and more so) if the abuser is the father because it is all the more destructive! It totally turns their world upside down because the very person who is supposed to protect them is the one abusing them. The father is a pivotal person in their life and is expected to love and protect them and want them happy. But abusing his own children is such a mental confusion for them that they cannot differentiate between; sex, love, good, bad, normal and abnormal. It is a total mental, emotional, and spiritual chaos!
Governments of Satan
A mother can stop a child from seeing a stranger, a teacher, a minister, a priest, a doctor, a bum, or anybody, but when she wants to protect her child from the father, it is like fighting against the devil himself! Just because he is the father, this gives him rights. What kind of a crazy world do we live in?
I find it very difficult to accept the fact that our grandchildren live in a pervert world. Children are not encouraged to read anything spiritual, and good children’s religious books are difficult to get, especially French ones. As a matter of fact, it is difficult to get anything without violence and sex. Even children’s movies are filled with immodesty and violence. Much is geared to train their young minds to accept sex as a positive tool to enhance their situation as though this is a normal and natural way of life. Of course if they have been abused this pervert situation simply endorses the perversion as though it is acceptable. Our granddaughters do not watch TV now, but it will not be long before they do.
I was severely reprimanded by my daughter when I told our granddaughter (6 years old) about the crucifixion. Our daughter then stopped me from taking her children to mass and took away the religious books I had given the little ones, because there were some picture of the crucifixion, and of Adam and Eve. I had also told her about the devil disguising himself as a snake. Of course, today, this is a serious taboo subject. And to support the mother, the sitter was scandalized that I would have mentioned such “horrible things” to the children.
Unfortunately, Carol is a strange child. I never in my life, heard of playing crucifixion, which is what she apparently did with her sister afterwards! When we were young we knew more about Christ crucified, and at a much younger age, nevertheless, the thought never crossed our minds to play this out! I recall playing mass with my brother. Of course, we had not been sexually abused... This is the core of the problem.
Carol is intense on violence, she will stare at a picture of Christ on the cross, and leave all other nice pictures aside. I am sure it is not related to spirituality. She seems to have a fixation on anything which causes pain, to herself, and to others. For this reason, I believe she needs religion all the more, in order to help her to know and believe that there is hope and Devine Love.
What I dislike, about the situation, is that without giving consideration to the fact that, I (or anyone else) could have predicted that Carol would react this way, it is so easy to jump to conclusions and blame religion.
Since October 2000, we have lived our worst nightmare and it is ongoing... Carol 6, and Dan 3, had not seen their father since May 2001, at which time we had no doubt he had molested them sexually. The police, doctor, social service and the psychologist were also convinced.
His last telephone conversation in May 2001, he told Carol, his then 5 year old daughter, that if she talked, the police would put her in jail. She was so agitated and scared that she did tell, thanks God! She had been having nightmares and her behavior was so outrageous! She has done much progress since.
Unfortunately, the law does not protect the children. Just because an abuser is a father gives him license to continue his destruction. At the end of December 2002, he saw the girls for three hours under the supervision of the social services. Since then, the beautiful progress they had accomplished in the last year was ripped away. The language and sexual behavior came back in a most obvious and disturbing way.
I believe that much worst than physical death is going on now. Mental torture, psychological affliction, and death of the soul is much worst! I would gladly give my grandchildren to God in death as martyrs, rather than go through this spiritual extinction. Of course, I do not tell my children how I feel.
I thank God for having taken to heaven, two of our grandchildren (three, and four months old.) We found it painful when it happened, but nothing compares to this! I welcome death and sickness as the will of God, but this is evil from hell! It is very difficult to deal with it as we live on pins and needles not knowing how it will turn out. Notwithstanding, we are well aware that it is a life long problem that will most probably escalate as they become teenagers, unless Devine intervention.
Prayers from Fatima and the World
I am telling you all this because I want to assure myself of your prayers. Please, would you consider to adopt them as your spiritual children, to keep them in your prayers always, even after you have reached your eternal home?
Since March 2001, we have been in the red financially, to help our daughter. We have now stopped helping her financially as we cannot continue. We continue to baby sit when the children are sick, which is very often, and to drive them to their many appointments. We assist her as much as we can. In spite of the stress, she will have to manage financially, without our help, as we cannot sell our house. We tried for almost two years but it is not a sellers market. We were willing to lose $20,000.00 dollars, now we figure, it may be for our own protection that we cannot sell, so it is now off the market. We had prayed so much! But it is sometimes so very difficult to know what is the will of God.
Our daughter, paid many thousands for lawyer’s fees, but is unable to get a divorce because the law says that the case of the children must be settled first. To me, this is senseless. Two people divorce each other. A couple does not divorce the children. When I mentioned this, I was told that this is the way it is because the children fall in, “with the separation of the goods, and the effects of marriage.” In other words, in my view, as far as the law is concerned, children are nothing but objects.
This means that our daughter will be living in sin as the divorce drags on! She has a boy friend, a very good person, a Catholic (not 100%, but better than most young “Catholics” of today...) He will not live with her until they can get married, however, they do pass some week-ends together... He is an excellent person, he does not feel right about the situation, and he would like to marry her. Lucy obtained her official separation in 2001, and her annulment, “without reservations” last Fall. However, in order to marry in the Catholic Church, she must have her divorce.
I am convinced that if she could get her divorce and marry, and if the father could be totally out of the picture, the children could fall into a loving and normal pattern, which would help their self esteem and spirituality. I know God can do it, however, it will take more than my prayers to solve such a situation because my prayers do not seem to be too powerful.
I do not know if it is true, but I once heard, or read, that it is more powerful to pray for someone else than for our self, and others have more power to pray for us than for themselves. Do you think this is true?
You are in a perfect place to entice Our Lady to lend an ear to your prayers, please ask her to assist us in this evil mess, please!
One question I would be interested to have the answer is the following: Holy water used to be blessed with a much longer ceremony than today, including salt and with the exorcism prayers. Is today’s blessed water as powerful? I never used blessed salt, I thought that was only for the church. Does it hold the same power as holy water?
I wrote, what I think is an excellent religious book, in English, which includes all what a person needs to know to be saved. This was written for my children, grandchildren, nephews and nieces. If you want, I can send it to you. I think it is rather interesting.
I use to make one novena after the other, and I had so much confidence. I could not believe that heaven would have permitted visitations AGAIN! Now my husband and I are both worn out, we lack energy and hope. My prayers have dwindled down to almost nothing.
One ritual I hope never to abandon, is the blessing with holy water. Each night I spray holy water on friends, relatives, the pope, the sick, the dying, all those who suffer, those who work for Christ, I baptize those dying without baptism and the aborted, etc. It is a long list of intentions. I sometimes lose energy, and neglect my prayers, but this is one thing I keep on doing, no matter what. You were, and are always included:
I pray for conversion, sanctification, and perseverance, as I deposit all of you in the chalice at each mass I assist. I also pray that Paul be erased from our minds and from all our lives.
Your little sister in Christ,