Is
Divorce a Sin?
Richard
Salbato September 6, 2011
That
may seem like a funny question but the answer may surprise you. I decided to
ask people this question when I heard a marvelous sermon by my pastor.
Separation is a Catholic word and is legal even in the bible but divorce is a
civil word and does not exist in the Catholic world. I will explain at the end
of this Newsletter but first read my pastor’s sermon to understand the problem.
Father Tom Burns, M.S.C.
Pastor St. Frances Cabrini,
A
few years ago an elderly parishioner in her eighties came to see me. She wanted
to know if there was any way she could go to confession and receive Holy
Communion before she died. It had been thirty years since she had the
consolation of the sacraments. I asked her why she had not gone to the
sacraments for so long. “I am divorced.” I asked her if she had remarried, and
she said, “No!”
“Who
told you that you could not go to Confession and Holy Communion?”
She said her family told her
she could not go to the sacraments because she was divorced.
I
had tears in my eyes as I told her I would hear her confession right then if
she wanted. Also she could receive Holy
Communion at that evening Mass. I told her someone had given her some very bad
information. She could have received the sacraments all those years.
That
same year, a few weeks later, a young man came to see me for anointing before a
serious surgery. He asked, “Can I be anointed? I am divorced.”
“Of
course,” I told him, “any of our Catholic family can be anointed. Why do you ask?”
“Because I can’t go to Confession and Holy Communion!”
“Are
you remarried?”
“No
father!”
“Then
why aren’t you going to the sacraments?”
“Because people told me I
couldn’t because I am divorced.”
Please
don’t let this false information continue in our families. A civilly divorced
Catholic who has not remarried can surely go the Confession and Holy Communion.
This Catholic is separated from their spouse by the civil law, but this is no violation
of the Church law. If that Catholic spouse remains unmarried, they have a right
and especially need the guidance of Confession and the strength of Holy
Communion.
If
the Catholic marries a second time while still married sacramentally to the
first spouse, this Catholic comes under the disciplinary law of the Church. He
or she may not receive Confession or Holy Communion. To return to the
Sacraments the person has to submit the former marriage to the annulment
process and it must b e declared Annulled.
The
former marriage is studied, and if it can be declared not sacramental for various
reasons it can be annulled. This decision of annulment allows the person to
return to the sacraments and possibly to marry in the future sacramentally.
Also, an annulment says nothing about the children of the former marriage. They
are, of course, legitimate and biologically theirs.
Once
we are members of God’s family, God will never abandon us. We may leave the
Sacraments of the family and deny the Church’s right to guide us or discipline
us, be we are still family. We are in the prayers of our Church. God and the
Church live us and waits for us.
Let
us pray for family life. It is under siege of a society that finds God
embarrassing. Today couples Try marriage instead of vowing to committed love. They
have sex instead of make love. When is the last time you heard any couple on TV
or the movies making love? The media tries to deny anything is sacred, God
given, or God guided. Marriage and Family are subject to redefine their very
essence of necessity. Thank God for our generous marriage ministry couples:
they are committed rebels with a great cause. Contact them.
Jesus
tells us He came into our history to bring us His kingdom. The kingdom of
heaven is like a treasure, it is like a pearl of great price, it is a new
thrown into the sea of humanity to collect every king. But it is not free. It
is not a cheap give-away. It is not a media hype of show-time. It requires us
to sell all to buy into the field, to give up some things to earn that precious
pearl, to realize the angels of God will separate the weeds from the wheat.
The
kingdom is there for all, but there is a sacrifice, there is a price, THERE ARE RULES!
Jesus
does deliver, if we allow His way to be our way.”
The
most depressing aspects of Father’s sermon is how few
Catholics understand their faith. Many make God’s kingdom too liberal and
others make it too strict whereas it is not extreme one way or the other. As
for this one subject civil authorities have no right one way or the other to be
involved in marriage because marriage is a religious sacrament. Civil
authorities can make contracts regarding property and custody of children to
protect the civil rights of people. But we as Catholics recognize separation,
which we call divorce and even the bible allows for separation. Now to answer the question, Is Divorce a Sin? The divorce
itself is not a sin but almost always there is some sin involved by both parties
even if that sin was at the time of the marriage. However, sometimes there is
no sin at all in a separation; in fact it is the moral thing to do.
Now
the problem is not the divorce itself but how we handle it afterward, the
radical change in life, the children, our faith, etc. Also as you have read how
the stupidity of Catholics treat you afterwards.
Another
thing is the failure of Catholics to understand Annulments, even priests.
Annulments do not do away with a sacramental marriage. That is a permanent vow
to God. What Annulments do is look into the time of marriage and sees if all
the requirements of a sacrament were fulfilled and if not, the Church declares
that the sacrament never happened. All sacraments have these conditional aspects
to them.
One
reason I wanted to write this is because the individual parishes should have
programs to let people know the rules of marriage and divorce and do so in a
very well educated system. Too many Catholics have left the Church because they
have a false idea of what the Church teaches.
There
is a great program that Parishes can buy and this program can teach the pastors
and teachers how to present the rules of marriage, separation and Annulments to
all the Catholics so that we can bring back those who have left the Church.
You
can check out this program at http://www.rosesweet.com/
Or Contact
Victoria Lineham at vlinehan@ca.rr.com
